I need to keep more shit to myself. I can’t confide in a lot of people anymore because they might see my rants and personal dilemmas as negativity— to the point where they drop and distance themselves away from me when all I ever wanted was just someone to confide in. It’s a terrible feeling to lose a friend, especially a best friend after numerous years of having that sort of friendship. But you know what? I am super glad we talked it out, so at least I know where I stand between them. For the longest time, I felt super unappreciated by a close friend that I saw as one of those people I can “ride or die” with. She doesn’t see me in that same way. She said because we grew apart and have two totally different interests nowadays. She said that my rants and just me constantly depending on her were just way too much for her to bare. For me to constantly call her best friend and to know that she doesn’t feel the exact same way anymore, makes me feel stupid. It is what it is though, I’ll eventually come into terms and accept what has happened. I just don’t think it’s worth saving and feeling shitty about. At the end of our whole talk, i asked if we were still friends. She said of course. Then I asked if we were still best friends. Her body language and her general response was hesitant, until she finally said, “it’s been a rough year”. That moment made me realize she wasn’t that same person she was to me, nor am I to her for the longest time. To whoever’s reading this, hey; I guess I’m just being overdramatic. One thing is for sure though: I’m just never enough. I’ve lost too much friends in my past and losing someone I see as an important individual in my life (and they don’t feel the same way) is just another part of it, I guess. Thanks for everything, “best”.
I guess I was just never worth it.I haven’t written on my tumblr in a solid minute, but it is four in the morning and maybe this is a good time to spill my thoughts??????
- I am super scared for what the future holds, but I am hoping and praying that everything will all fall into place, regardless of my past circumstances.
-I am super grateful for everything that has happened to me in the past year, and how it molded me to the person that I am now.
-I understand that there is so much room for growth and the lessons of my past will hopefully guide me to where I am meant to be.
-I need to stop hating and looking so lowly of myself when I have so many individuals in my life who love and care my being and health.
-I need to start eating more and it isn’t healthy for me to skip meals. I don’t know whether it’s because of my childhood experiences to why I am the way that I am, and I need to be better than that.
-I get the fact that I can’t change the past, and dwelling on it isn’t healthy for my sake, and even though it sucks, I need to be more positive for what is about to come and be ready for whatever life throws at me on a rainy day.
-I get sad to see that my parents and grandparents are growing old day by day while I am living my life in a healthy and strong manner as compared to them. I get that that’s life, but it pains me to see and think how the health of my grandparents and partially my parents is declining day by day, and I will do anything in my power to keep them healthy and happy.
-I feel like I deserve more than what I have and the idea of settling into a certain thing scares me a lot because I hate being fucked over by people who I give a lot of my efforts and time to.
-I must constantly remind myself that this is temporary and having high expectations for certain people is a bad thing because the feeling of not having what you expect of them can definitely hurt me later.
-I got this. Momma ain’t raise no bitch.
your current situation doesn’t need to be your final situation :)
Lol why am i the way that i am
when it’s november 1st
Songs with the same bpm but played over different than original video tracks give me life
